Valentines Schmalentines

So, if you consider Vday a person, i've had one of those-but if you consider it like, a holiday or special occasion, i've really not had one so far. My bday falls so close that it kinda gets lumped together, which is funny because it's not THAT close. Anyway. Life is difficult right now. Anytime I get close to my period, i start to feel unbelievable pressure and fear of the unknown. Things start to look bleak and i lose perspective. It's amazing how real those emotions can feel, how real they are at times and then the difference a week makes, lol!
Funny stuff from this week: I took jacks socks off and he mumbled something about having "tuff in feet" (fuzzies from black socks, he's such a clean freak!), so i started cleaning them out and he protested! He said "no clean out mama, keep feet warm"!!! So cute.
Rosie draws all the time-lately she's really into skeletons, so now, anything we draw is a person, and then a skeleton inside of them-thanks SchoolHouse Rock! Actually, I'm really curious what other 4 yr olds draw, she's always surprising me with stuff she comes up with-yesterday there was a fridge with a bunch of food, a tomato and a kid standing in front of it, all of it i recognized immediately, but i didn't really think that was something a kid would draw-lo and behold, that's what it was!
Some new things, Jack is far less cuddly than he was a month ago :( He's getting to that rough-house, stinkery boy age. It makes me sad because i miss my little love-he was the sweetest, most gentle and huggy kid and now he follows me around saying "I TACKLE you!", etc. Rosie has started being incredibly defiant, ALL the time. It's maddening, she'll either ignore me, or whip her head around and say "WHAT!!!!" in a SNOTTY way, i swear she's like 15! Not sure yet how to solve that, because then i snap back at her and say "Don't you talk to me like that, you speak kindly to mama!!" and no, i don't say that in a kind way, lol. I did have an interesting conversation this week which really resonated with me--"Nothing destroys a child more than hypocrisy". Think about it.